I Will Rise

Have you ever tried hiding sudden, fast flowing tears when you're sitting on the aisle seat in a plane?

I have.

Its not the easiest thing ever, I will tell you! But the feeling that came with those tears were worth every second I was being watched by strangers. I would never see any of these people again, so what did it matter? I didn't have to explain myself to them :)

Even if I was asked to explain, I don't think I could! Even now (five days later) I'm just starting to grasp to fullness of my outflowing emotions!

It was Jesus. It was the God of the universe hugging me and whispering life to me. I was in the middle of reading a book that was perfect for the time. It made so many things click inside me. Then the iPod ear buds were delivering meaningful songs.

As I was reading, the song said "I will rise, when you call my name, no more sorrow, no more pain."

.... and everything in me just.... broke. I honestly felt so near to God in all His mercy and glory and splendor. He came near to me and touched me with healing... healing that has been needed for the past months finally came. Was it worth the pain? Absolutely. I feel like a whole new person.

If you're going thru hurt right now, keep praying and holding on to the promises of God!

"I have said these things to you that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

"I Will Rise"

Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know

Though my heart and flesh may fail

There's an anchor for my soul

I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles' wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near

When this darkness breaks to light

And the shadows disappear

And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

I Thessalonians 5:16

Letting Go; The Continuing Story

Appearently God didn't think that summing up how to release our grasp on things was good enough in one post...

Last night I was reading in my devotional (which I love) 'My Utmost for His Highest' and was astounded by that day's page of wisdom.

May 23 said:

. . . do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on —Matthew 6:25

Jesus summed up commonsense carefulness in the life of a disciple as unbelief. If we have received the Spirit of God, He will squeeze right through our lives, as if to ask, “Now where do I come into this relationship, this vacation you have planned, or these new books you want to read?” And He always presses the point until we learn to make Him our first consideration. Whenever we put other things first, there is confusion.

“. . . do not worry about your life . . . .” Don’t take the pressure of your provision upon yourself. It is not only wrong to worry, it is unbelief; worrying means we do not believe that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never anything but those details that worry us. Have you ever noticed what Jesus said would choke the Word He puts in us? Is it the devil? No— “the cares of this world” (MatthewMatthew 13:22 ). It is always our little worries. We say, “I will not trust when I cannot see”— and that is where unbelief begins. The only cure for unbelief is obedience to the Spirit.

The greatest word of Jesus to His disciples is abandon.

It's absolutely amazing to me that I have been dealing with letting go of different things, and the very devotional I open up to last night adds a new flavor to my most recent revelation!

God. Is. Incredible.

Letting Go

When I say that title, it brings me great relief. Comfort too.

But that wouldn't have been the case in the not too distant past. It would have caused me to hang on tighter and scream like a stubborn young child... I wouldn't have wanted to let go at all. I would have said that this situation is necessary... I just need this to happen... I really do believe in that person... Its really ok because I can handle this.

Then I found out I cant.

In fact, I crumble under the immense stress and anxiety of holding onto to something that may not be His will. And God made something even more clear to me than I knew before...

We aren't supposed to.

We shouldn't carry the load. We aren't supposed to hang onto things that bring us worry or stress.

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." (Psalm 55:22)

Or even the latter portion of Matthew 6 shows us amazing promise...

I have read these verses many many times and even thought that I did let things go... But not until I held on to something long enough to create hurt and pain, did I finally give up and let God take the reins, the burden. I guess I was pretty stubborn that way. :(

You know that feeling that rushes over and through you when you breathe a huge sigh of relief? There isn't really a way to describe it.. it's just amazing. Well after truly letting go and having God take what He really does want to take and free us from, healing, peace and joy are now in it's place.

It's like living with a constant happy sigh of relief...

A More Beautiful You

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

Reward After Waiting

I recently bought a car! My beloved Subaru went to car heaven back in December, so since then, I've been looking for something else! It's taken me 4 months to FINALLY get this one.

YAY!

Craigslist and I became pretty close friends. We knew each others thoughts after a while.

But he failed me. I had countless unanswered emails, phone calls that got cut off mid-sentence with the sellers, meeting with mean people to see cars and even scheduling to see cars and they sell RIGHT before I get there.

I decided to ditch my buddy, Craigslist and just wait. I threw my hands in the air and "Fine! I give up!"

In all seriousness, I felt God was telling me to hold on. To wait. I then believed that it was beyond me to find something (obviously!) so I left it to Him.

And He provided!

And I'll give you a hint: He did not use Craigslist :)

He used a sweet, kindred-spirited, honest, elderly gentleman to sell me the car.

The transaction was smooth. I wrote a check and I had such a peace. Exhaling with relief, I relaxed and looked at what God gave me :) Even the make/brand I secretly wanted!

I'm a little too lazy to take a picture of my actual car but this looks JUST like it-- my Volkswagon Jetta.

When He provides, it's truly wonderful :)

Authenticity Rules

This morning was not unlike many other mornings. I was standing in front of one of the up-close mirrors in our bathroom putting on mascara. My 15 year old brother was standing at the other mirror in front of the sink brushing his teeth.
Our conversation went like this:

Him: "Are you putting on that lash booster gel thing we saw on tv?"
Me: "No, just the regular stuff."
Him: "Good because that's just weird. It looks all dumb because you know it's not real. Looks bad all abnormally long..."

I smiled.

I appreciated hearing that from him! Someone I DID NOT expect to hear it from. I loved the fact that he has come to love and appreciate girls just for who they are.

So there you have it my lady friends! Straight from a boy in his mid teens and high school years! Authenticity rules in my opinion and appereantly in his opinion too :)
The moral of this story? Don't do "lash boosters." Just kidding, but seriously gals, just be yourself! Just tastefully enhance who you are and relax...

Because that's perfect.