"Dear friends,

do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering,

as though something strange were happening to you.

But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ,

so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

1 Peter 4:12-13

Lead Me

Do you ever have an infatuation with something thats been around forever, but you just now started to love it?

It makes you ask yourself, puzzled, "Why did I not notice this before?"

I went to Soulfest a couple weeks ago and stood in the crowd, in one spot for seven hours. You do that, you know, when you want to assure a good spot for someone you want to see who's coming on to preform 5 hours later. Anyways, I rushed in when we first got there while the crowd was small, knowing it would grow and got a good spot.

I worshiped with Jason Upton (who I was SO excited to see!!), Paul Colman, Sanctus Real and then Tobymac. Jason was just as fantastic I as expected, Paul was as funny and comical as he has always been and to my surprise, Tobymac put on a spectacular show.

But the group that caught my attention was Sanctus Real! Song after song, I was just amazed at how the lyrics really spoke to me. Also, they didn't seem like the typical rock band either. They had sincere hearts... hearts devoted to God, devoted to their wives, devoted to their families....

And all of that flowed out beautifully in the performance they put on. You could just tell how genuine they were and see these were real people with real struggles and real victories. It showed so heavily in their attitude and in their lyrics.

This song in particular blessed me! I've never really seen this type of thing put to song before. The lead singer spoke about the issues he and his wife were having and how God really showed him some things:

Lead Me

I look around and see my wonderful life

Almost perfect from the outside

In picture frames I see my beautiful wife

Always smiling

But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside

I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine

They're in independent

But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I'm called to be

Oh, Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands

To stand up when they can't

Don't want to leave them hungry for love,

Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight

And give them the best of my life

So we can call this our home

Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

I Will Rise

Have you ever tried hiding sudden, fast flowing tears when you're sitting on the aisle seat in a plane?

I have.

Its not the easiest thing ever, I will tell you! But the feeling that came with those tears were worth every second I was being watched by strangers. I would never see any of these people again, so what did it matter? I didn't have to explain myself to them :)

Even if I was asked to explain, I don't think I could! Even now (five days later) I'm just starting to grasp to fullness of my outflowing emotions!

It was Jesus. It was the God of the universe hugging me and whispering life to me. I was in the middle of reading a book that was perfect for the time. It made so many things click inside me. Then the iPod ear buds were delivering meaningful songs.

As I was reading, the song said "I will rise, when you call my name, no more sorrow, no more pain."

.... and everything in me just.... broke. I honestly felt so near to God in all His mercy and glory and splendor. He came near to me and touched me with healing... healing that has been needed for the past months finally came. Was it worth the pain? Absolutely. I feel like a whole new person.

If you're going thru hurt right now, keep praying and holding on to the promises of God!

"I have said these things to you that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."

"I Will Rise"

Chris Tomlin

There's a peace I've come to know

Though my heart and flesh may fail

There's an anchor for my soul

I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

[Chorus:]

And I will rise when He calls my name

No more sorrow, no more pain

I will rise on eagles' wings

Before my God fall on my knees

And rise

I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near

When this darkness breaks to light

And the shadows disappear

And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the dead

I Thessalonians 5:16

Letting Go; The Continuing Story

Appearently God didn't think that summing up how to release our grasp on things was good enough in one post...

Last night I was reading in my devotional (which I love) 'My Utmost for His Highest' and was astounded by that day's page of wisdom.

May 23 said:

. . . do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on —Matthew 6:25

Jesus summed up commonsense carefulness in the life of a disciple as unbelief. If we have received the Spirit of God, He will squeeze right through our lives, as if to ask, “Now where do I come into this relationship, this vacation you have planned, or these new books you want to read?” And He always presses the point until we learn to make Him our first consideration. Whenever we put other things first, there is confusion.

“. . . do not worry about your life . . . .” Don’t take the pressure of your provision upon yourself. It is not only wrong to worry, it is unbelief; worrying means we do not believe that God can look after the practical details of our lives, and it is never anything but those details that worry us. Have you ever noticed what Jesus said would choke the Word He puts in us? Is it the devil? No— “the cares of this world” (MatthewMatthew 13:22 ). It is always our little worries. We say, “I will not trust when I cannot see”— and that is where unbelief begins. The only cure for unbelief is obedience to the Spirit.

The greatest word of Jesus to His disciples is abandon.

It's absolutely amazing to me that I have been dealing with letting go of different things, and the very devotional I open up to last night adds a new flavor to my most recent revelation!

God. Is. Incredible.

Letting Go

When I say that title, it brings me great relief. Comfort too.

But that wouldn't have been the case in the not too distant past. It would have caused me to hang on tighter and scream like a stubborn young child... I wouldn't have wanted to let go at all. I would have said that this situation is necessary... I just need this to happen... I really do believe in that person... Its really ok because I can handle this.

Then I found out I cant.

In fact, I crumble under the immense stress and anxiety of holding onto to something that may not be His will. And God made something even more clear to me than I knew before...

We aren't supposed to.

We shouldn't carry the load. We aren't supposed to hang onto things that bring us worry or stress.

"Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." (Psalm 55:22)

Or even the latter portion of Matthew 6 shows us amazing promise...

I have read these verses many many times and even thought that I did let things go... But not until I held on to something long enough to create hurt and pain, did I finally give up and let God take the reins, the burden. I guess I was pretty stubborn that way. :(

You know that feeling that rushes over and through you when you breathe a huge sigh of relief? There isn't really a way to describe it.. it's just amazing. Well after truly letting go and having God take what He really does want to take and free us from, healing, peace and joy are now in it's place.

It's like living with a constant happy sigh of relief...

A More Beautiful You

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

Reward After Waiting

I recently bought a car! My beloved Subaru went to car heaven back in December, so since then, I've been looking for something else! It's taken me 4 months to FINALLY get this one.

YAY!

Craigslist and I became pretty close friends. We knew each others thoughts after a while.

But he failed me. I had countless unanswered emails, phone calls that got cut off mid-sentence with the sellers, meeting with mean people to see cars and even scheduling to see cars and they sell RIGHT before I get there.

I decided to ditch my buddy, Craigslist and just wait. I threw my hands in the air and "Fine! I give up!"

In all seriousness, I felt God was telling me to hold on. To wait. I then believed that it was beyond me to find something (obviously!) so I left it to Him.

And He provided!

And I'll give you a hint: He did not use Craigslist :)

He used a sweet, kindred-spirited, honest, elderly gentleman to sell me the car.

The transaction was smooth. I wrote a check and I had such a peace. Exhaling with relief, I relaxed and looked at what God gave me :) Even the make/brand I secretly wanted!

I'm a little too lazy to take a picture of my actual car but this looks JUST like it-- my Volkswagon Jetta.

When He provides, it's truly wonderful :)

Authenticity Rules

This morning was not unlike many other mornings. I was standing in front of one of the up-close mirrors in our bathroom putting on mascara. My 15 year old brother was standing at the other mirror in front of the sink brushing his teeth.
Our conversation went like this:

Him: "Are you putting on that lash booster gel thing we saw on tv?"
Me: "No, just the regular stuff."
Him: "Good because that's just weird. It looks all dumb because you know it's not real. Looks bad all abnormally long..."

I smiled.

I appreciated hearing that from him! Someone I DID NOT expect to hear it from. I loved the fact that he has come to love and appreciate girls just for who they are.

So there you have it my lady friends! Straight from a boy in his mid teens and high school years! Authenticity rules in my opinion and appereantly in his opinion too :)
The moral of this story? Don't do "lash boosters." Just kidding, but seriously gals, just be yourself! Just tastefully enhance who you are and relax...

Because that's perfect.

99 Balloons

This video is the ultimate example of that verse in Job...

You know the one you just absolutely love the sound of, but it still stirs something in you. Maybe because we are of a carnal nature and having definitive answers is pretty important to us. Where trust or faith don't come easy.

But yet, it's one of our favorite verses. It expresses the simple, childlike understanding and knowing we are supposed to have in God.

If you've never seen this video, grab a tissue and watch the 6 minute journey this family took and experienced fully Job 1:21

"The Lord gives and Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Li'l Bit O' Love

Love comes in many, many different shapes, sizes, colors and forms. Each one very special! Maybe you are familiar with Gary Chapman's 'Five Love Languages'.

It's in the smile someone passes to you...

It's in the warm embrace you just received...

It's in the 2-hour drive, filled with laughter and good conversation...

It's in the sunset you see on the horizon every night painted by our Heavenly Father...

It's in the compliment your dear friend just gave you...

It's in the sweet laugh of a loved one...

It's in the admiring look...

It's in the high-five from your coworker...

It's in the warm peck on the cheek you just gave your dear friend...

It's in the time it took to type that text message...

It's in the meal your wife just made for you...

A sign of sincere love came to me today in a Kleenex-wrapped gift from my manager. :)

Staying Sickness-Free

I work in a very public place and I'm so aware of keeping my hands and things around me clean. More conscience of it than ever, I believe. Here are somethings I'm putting into practice, hoping for the best!

-Drink lots of water. Keeping hydrated flushes things out of your system.

-Vitamin C is essential. Whether in tablets or thru orange juice. It is a water-soluble vitamin so you really can't dangerously O.D. on it... you body can only retain and use a certain percentage a day, so it will flush the rest.

-Echinacea. Another preventative vitamin. Available in teas or suppliments.

-Wash hands frequently. Sanitizer is handy, but have old-fashioned soap and water as first choice. You do need some germs to keep your immune system up, so killing 99.9% like the sanitizer claims, really isn't good ALL the time.

-Eat lemons also along with oranges. Citrus has the vitamin C. Put it in your echinacea tea!

-As a general rule, keep hands away from your face.

-Eat honey! Preferably raw because the enzymes haven't been zapped. But regular honey is better than nothing. It contains the enzymes the builds your immune system.

Put it in your echinacea tea with the lemon ;) :-P

-Keep active! Sedentary habits aren't good. Keeping active and strong helps reduce the risk of letting a "bug" you may have picked up from festering.

-If you don't think you're giving your body the defense it needs, try Airborne or Emergen-C! They do the job wonderfully! And in short order! ;)

Appreciated Indian Summer

Indian summers are the best thing.

They are God's way of giving us a couple more days of the previous, beloved season in the midst of the approaching cold. How wonderful they are!

What did you do with this shockingly warm weather? I know I felt like I couldn't do enough, smell enough, see enough and feel enough to soak up these amazing past days.

I walked on the beach, visited the light house, drove thru all my favorite parts of my town, stopped and sat and thought... feeling the cool breeze across my face.

It's also worked out wonderfully that I've been 100% free the last two days! Leaving me to do whatever I wanted. It's been so sweet... back to reality tomorrow.

A photo documentary of a New England "Indian Summer":

The Untitled Post

Stereotypes are sad. But human nature is somewhat predictable... so therefore stereotypes often are correct. Not always, I know, as I'm here to show you, but often very very close.

I started my job over a year ago. They have a very rigid dresscode and everyone must conform to a T.

So everyone looks one way at work and usually you only see them in your work enviroment, so they burn an image in your mind of how they look. The white chefs coats, the hats, the black aprons, the collared white shirts, tan pants, checkered pants, black shoes...

As it has been proved in private schools when kids and young adults have to have a uniform, walls are usually broken and everyone is no longer judged as much on appearence (to a very large degree, and exceptions noted). But you just tend to like them for who they are and not what they look like because, well, everyone looks pretty much the same.

Over the last couple months, we had a work meeting where everyone was present OUTSIDE of work. Wearing normal clothes. Being their normal selves.

To be honest, half of them I wouldn't recognize if I passed them in a grocery store or on the street.

Back to the issue of stereotypes:

Are you generally intimidated by how people look? Do you often avoid people because of their outward appearance?

Well at the meeting, I sat back, amidst the laughter, talking, jokes and instruction from my manager and was taught a very big lesson. Never should I judge someone by how they look. The saying "Dont judge a book by it's cover" rang in my mind, trust me. You're probably saying "Hannah, come on. That's like one of the simplest lessons in life". Yes, I guess it is. But only after I truly enjoyed and truly cared for my coworkers and realized how many paths of life and personality types we had on one team, is when it became real to me :)

I am privileged to know many wonderful people in my life and I count my coworkers, my cafe family, apart of that also.

Winds of Change

It's as if we hit a wall! One day we were sweating from the humidity. The honest-to-goodness next day it was chilly. There was a briskness to the air. A bite.

The change is so abrupt! I like fall, I really do, but summer is my favorite. We're the best of friends.

I feel as if she left me...

*sigh* I'm praying for an Indian Summer! :) At least a couple more days... Yes, just a couple with some warmth.

But either way fall brings lots of fun things.

Where I've Been

Hey there!

As a church, we did a "30-day Spiritual Bootcamp". We took 30 days and set them aside to SET ASIDE the things that we normally consume our time with.

Also know as:

Computer-

-Email

-Facebook

-Blogging

Movies that aren't inspirational

Video games

Music that is not God-glorifying

And we took that time to study the bible, pray more often and do things that normally would get pushed aside.

For me, I did what was required but I also did things that didn't glorify me. I dont like to bring attention to myself normally, but this last 30 days I went above and beyond to bring glory to God and give special attention to those around me.

It was wonderful! Dont get me wrong, it was extremely difficult... Withdrawals were heavy the first week ;) But it put everything into perspective for me. It showed me what was truly important and what was just "time-fillers".

So, just to let you know, I have been gone on purpose and am back! with a new perspective.

4 Added Smiles

Much to my despare, the photos taken while hosting the 4 little boys were "mysteriously" deleted from the camera. (*clearing throat* Stevie, my brother)

We had so much fun with them! The 10 days went by so quickly!

This was really the last time we'll be able to truly spend time with them, so it was so awesome to be able to bless their family in this way.

Here are some of our highlights:

Happiness is...

Eating chocolate belgian waffles with whipped cream.

Getting sand everywhere and all over from the beach.

Watching a 6 year old learn to ride a two-wheeler.

Kissing very kissable, little cheeks for the 10,000th time.

Laughing until we cried... kids really do say the darndest things!

Getting 11 ice cream cones to the exact specifications of it's recipient.

Completely using a bottle of sunscreen on 11 different little faces and bodies.

Playing in the endless rain.

Taking more than one vehicle to any one destonation.

Staying up for 38.5 hours.

Watching little ones toast marshmallows 4 feet away from the actual flame.

Rolling up mini sleeping bags decorated with the beloved Lightening McQueen.

Setting the table for an army every evening.

Choking on a laugh while a little boy says something so matter of fact.

Counting rain drops with an adorable 4 year-old.

Rocking a darling to sleep while he chooses to tell me why the seeds are on the outside of a strawberry.

Waking up to lots of little smiles and sleepy eyes.

Enjoying every moment to the fullest...

Simple Pleasures

Happy moments are falling asleep while eating ice cream. :-)

We have 4 wonderful boys that have been added to our family for 10 days. Today being really the first day. I'm going to try to post some funny pictures that capture humorus moments with them apart of our family.

What brings a smile to your face during the hustle and bustle of a normal day?

Today's Moment

In my last post, I talked about noting the special moments in life.

Well this was my precious moment today:

If you were in the locker room at my place of employment at around 10:45 this morning, you would have found me leaning in the corner of the lockers opening a card. It was a card that was given to my mother the day before from a coworker of mine. It was addressed to me.

Somehow my gut told me what was inside. I didn't want to believe it. And to my great despair, I was right on the money. My lovely coworker, whom I have grown really attached to (which isn't a new thing) decided it was time to leave. She was enduring things that she shouldn't have been at all... I knew it truly was only a matter of time. Because of that I cherished the days we worked together even more.

She left without warning so the note was her 'goodbye' to me. I stood there, hunkered in the locker room about to cry. But they really were selfish tears... I know there are better things out there for her and I'm wishing her all the best.

The fact that she took the time to actually say 'goodbye' to me in the best way she could at the moment, touched me.

She had a wonderful smile. Yes, and an infectious laugh. Her sense of humor was delightful. I will miss her dearly but hope to keep in touch.

Lovely Lisa cared.

That was precious to me.

Posting for the Sake of Posting

Despite popular speculation, I haven't died. No in fact I've been finding a lot of things to fill my time! The time I normally would be spending here boring, I mean entertaining you, I have done other things. I know I've neglected this bloggy land, but trust me I log on here to daily or so to keep up with all the lovely blogs I follow. Not a post goes unread :)

Also I've felt very much insignifigant. Very much.... boring, actually. Life is very busy and keeping me on my toes, but it's just not something to post about! I dont know how to explain it. Maybe I've become completely blind to the "postable" subjects that happen everyday. In the busyness of my life and focusing on my next engagement or next scheduled commitment, I've lost sight of the small things that normally catch my watchful eye... that normally bring me great delight.

Definitely! I believe that's it. I haven't taken time to stop and smell the roses.

Ok now that I have realized that, I am starting on a new foot today. Right now in fact. I normally notice every little thing but haven't noticed much of anything lately. My mind has been focused on seemingly important things, but appearently they are not. Actually the narture of my recent consuming thoughts drain me of energy and life and zeal.

Starting this moment I am giving them to God and looking forward to the next moment when I am able to again smell the posies and notice the little, but precious things in life.

Expect me here again soon. :)