A Recent Scare

Yesterday our computer wouldn't turn on.

Well it would but it would just come to a black, dark, horrible screen with a gray blinking cursor.
That's never happened before.
I know there are certain symptoms (if you will) to different problems with a computer, and this one didn't look promising. In fact it was frightening.

Dad dared to mention "It may be a corrupted file... we may have to wipe the hard drive."

*GASP*

WHAT??!! The hard drive only holds the last 5 years of our entire LIVES!! Pictures and videos and word documents and files and schooling cds and hours of music file downloads and and and and!

Starring at that horrific, black lifeless screen yesterday morning when I got up made me sick. It gave me the feeling of death. Just knowing the last 5 years of memories and documentation was about 12 inches from my finger tips inside the dock of the computer and possibly not being able to retrieve them EVER made me sick. I cherish memories and that's a sensitive topic for me, so having the thought that I may have to witness it being scratched from existence rubbed me in a very bad, bad way.

Ready for some light? The computer miraculously turned on! How, we have no idea. But I guarantee you we aren't shutting it off until we get some stuff backed up.

The moral of this story? Spend about $49 for a year of service from Carbonite .
It's a service that is constantly backing your computer up electronically into their system. Therefore, if something dreadful happens, like your computer crashes, you can have some peace of mind! Sounds like a worth-while $49!

You Mustn't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest! if you must---but never quit.

Life is queer, with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won if he'd stuck it out;

Stick to your task, though the pace seems slow---

You may succeed with one more blow.

Success is failure turned inside out---

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt---

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit---

It's when things seem worst that YOU MUSTN'T QUIT.

Taken from The Book of Virtues by William Bennett

TeenPact

I REGISTERED MY BROTHER AND I FOR TEENPACT!!!

YAY!

I'm so excited. I cant wait for this in two months. But the two months will come soon enough I guess. Gives me something really great to look forward to.



Not familiar with TeenPact? It's a Christian organization that "turns students into statesmen". You spend 4 days at the Capitol of your state and learn everything about it. You learn what goes on there on a daily basis and everything. You learn all about government and how it works and operates. The experience is incredible. I went last year with my brother (and many other friends) and pretty much was kicking all the way there and then was plopped on the Capitol steps. But on the last day I found myself in tears because of not wanting it to end!

It touched me in ways I didn't think could happen. Or at least didn't think this thing that my mother wanted me to go to called TeenPact would do this. It opened my eyes in a couple aspects: personally and academically.

1.) (Academically) It opened my eyes to everything that goes on in government. That's kind of a candid statement. Up until that point last year, I had rough idea about government, the Capitol and voting and electing etc etc.

Judicial? Is that some sort of religious follower?

A lobbyist? Someone who works at the front desk of a fancy hotel?

A bill? Oh I know what that is! It tells you how much money you owe for your electric.

Yeah... sad huh? I mean I had a rough idea like I said. Enough to know about the Constitution and laws and Senators and Presidents, but what about the small things in between? Nope. It changed my whole aspect for everything political. I realized, from the different experiences and things at TeenPact, how easy it is to really become involved in you so chose. Heck, we (as a group of 30 or so kids) caused a ruckus in the Capitol just by taking a survey. (We were banned from all rooms and confined to that hallways) That is a story in itself.

But honestly, it perked my interest greatly and my knowledge soared. Then and since then. Now if I hear or read about something, I actually know what they are talking about!

2.) (Personally) It made me realize how much I really was in a box. I had an extreme comfort-zone. Actually it slapped me in the face very, very hard. With everything TeenPact had us do as students, it made me LEAP from my comfort-zone. Well actually my zone was snagged away from me and I was left there. That was a really really good thing. Now I know that I can do things that make me uncomfortable and I will survive. I will come out a bigger person after.

Now this year Johnny and I are going back as Alumni. AND we will be lodging with all the students, where as last year we commuted. The experience will be altogether different. As Alumni the homework is a bit more challenging and the things we actually do apart from the first-timers is different. Staying at the camp THRILLS me. It was quite a bit more money for that factor, but I weighed out the meaning and the benefits and thought it a good investment. It will give the students a chance to mingle apart from being dressed in business suits and heels and being consumed with activities at the Capitol. To have the chance to talk with the incredible staff members and then have time to spend together as groups of guys and girls in the evenings will be great.

I'm diving into the pre-class homework and tackling it and looking forward to the reward it holds in April.

Me holding my TeenPact Registration receipt.

"While I'm Waiting"

I've recently found a new song. A new song that I love like nothing I've ever heard. Like I'm truly serious. You know that kind where you just listen for the first time and your jaw drops open?

Wait, wait wait... I want to start this off right: GOD IS INCREDIBLE.

There are recent things that have been revealed to me that confirms a lot of things inside me. I just feel like I'm going to be doing some waiting. A considerable amount. Things are going to come slow for me, I have a feeling. In what area of life that means, I have NO IDEA. With every confirmation recently, I've been tried. Guess it's just a hard pill to swallow.
I'm usually a patient person. Generally content all the time... but occasionally impatience comes in waves. During those times it's very painful and very, very hard. I'm sure you, reader, know what I mean... you've most likely had to wait for something(s) at some point.


Well this song that I found has been playing all the time. On the computer, my iPod, in my car... it's even stalked me in a recent movie. It's like a "whoa God, I get the picture" kind of thing. Yet the words (every single word) resinates in me. I feel like I could have wrote it!

I think I've found my personal anthem for this point in my life.


The song is called 'While I'm Waiting' by John Waller. It's from his album 'Blessing'. I have it on my playlist at the bottom of this page... so it should be playing when you read this. By the time you've read this far, it's probably half done. I'd go hit repeat.



Here are the words:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait


I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting, I will serve You
While I'm waiting, I will worship
While I'm waiting, I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait


I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait,I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Closeness or Distance?

I've always known that I have the habit of attaching myself to people very quickly, but recently over the last 2 months that fact has really been smacking me in the face.
I'm not really sure if that's a good thing or not. Seeing that usually I dont get the chance or am able to fully communicate to the people that I DO in fact care for them in a big way.
It's been brought to my attention a lot recently, like I said, thru work. I love my job. Seriously, it's not JUST the stuff I do when I'm there and interacting with people, but I LOVE the people I work with. Like I've mentioned here before, the co-workers make or break the job for me. Well again, over the last 2 months, 3 different ladies that I worked with have all left for personal reasons. I miss them so very much. :(
Not that I mind that they didn't end up saying goodbye or giving me one last hug, but it just seems like I cared for them more than they knew.
This whole dilemma of my attachments to people I've known about for sometime. It really only becomes apparent to me when someone leaves... someone I love leaves my picture of life and doesn't come back. That happens occasionally with friends and I just dont know why. Well I do. It's like the classic saying that's ever true "you dont know what you have until it's gone." I have a gaping hole that's left in me for a very long while. But I know I have to give it to God and just trust that my friendship with them was for a time and served some good purpose... even though at the moment it seems like it was only meant for hurt to follow. Usually years later, I'm able to reflect and laugh and cry and see just how much they touched me and how me knowing them somehow changed my life in a special way forever... and who knows, I just may have helped them too.
*sigh* I've tried to not adhere to people but it just isn't working. I do anyways. Why? I'm not totally sure. I have accepted the fact that it's just apart of me being who I am. The compassion I posses and the general love I freely give. If I shunned everyone or didn't allow myself to become too close, then how would I be blessed in someway? How would they? I would travel thru life cold, bitter and unhappy.
So I guess this rambling is me telling you that I care for you more deeply than you know. Than you'll probably ever know. And if for some reason life's path severs our friendship, I'm mourning the loss of your hugs, your smile and your specialness in a way that cant be explained.

A Recent Purchase

I've recently bought a bunch of books. Well not a bunch I guess, but 6. Or 7. I purchased one of them as a duplicate as a gift and another for someone special. I cant WAIT to give these to the people I thought of!!

Ugh! I love thinking of people!



Of the books I bought, it's hard to say which I want to read first or which I'm most excited about. VERY HARD. But I've chose to feature one.

Multiple Blessings:

Surviving to Thriving with Twins and Sextuplets

I cant wait to read this book!! I'm going to scream when I get the package in the mail. The tv show Jon & Kate Plus 8 is my favorite show ever. Apart from the FoodNetwork of course. I love their realness. I love how they care about eachother, pray with eachother, go to church, the craziness of their meals, the madness of rounding up the kids to go somewhere and how they trust the Lord. I love how they show all those things on tv. They aren't perfect and they know it, and it makes the show so refreshing from the normal, everyday fake perfectness that floods millions of television screens every minute. Plus that's my idea of a family :) A lot of kids, relaxed but strong parents and a whole lot of care, love and attention.

Here's what CBD says about the book:

Just three years after giving birth to twin daughters, Kate and Jon Gosselin learned they were pregnant again - with sextuplets. In Multiple Blessings, Kate chronicles the emotional and exhausting journey she and Jon made from the time the babies were conceived through the first two years of their lives. After struggling to carry and deliver all six babies, then coping with months of neonatal intensive care, Jon and Kate thought they'd made it through the hardest part of the journey.
Not even close. Stress-filled days and sleepless nights became their world as she and Jon managed to feed, bathe, clothe, and monitor the health of their fragile infants without losing sight of their love for each other and the twins. This is an honest and uplifting story of faith. It's the story of a young couple who trusted in the ever present hand of a faithful God to provide the strength and courage they needed to face seemingly impossible challenges one day at a time.